20 Things I Learned from 2020
It's been a long year. Here are 20 things I learned from it.
It’s going to be a long read. Sit back with a cup of anything you like before you begin.
Solitude is Underrated: We have all spent a lot of time alone this year, and while it did suck initially I slowly realized that it helped me understand myself better. Being alone gives you this headspace that allows you to connect with yourself on a deeper level, thus also making you more self-aware.
You don’t have to talk to someone every day to be close to them: I learned that some friendships are pretty amazing that way. You don't talk every day but the moment you need them they are right there! Also, you don't need to constantly know what's going on in someone's life to be a part of it.
Do the kind thing: I rewatched the movie “Wonder” where Oggy is told - “When given the choice between being right or being kind choose kind.” It’s important to realise that you don’t always have to be right, especially when it's at the cost of hurting others.
If you know someone’s story, you can’t really hate them: Empathy and the ability to listen are what makes us humane. We’re all in such a rush to tell our stories that we tend to forget to listen to others and when we don’t listen, we misjudge - this creates a vicious cycle that instils insecurity within us. The world will never progress without us being able to empathise and listen to others because only then can we collectively heal.
Be present: When you’re with someone, be really with them. Hang onto every single word that they say. Don't check your phone. Or the clock. Acknowledge their stories and try to always respond, not react. Making someone feel seen and heard is one of the most heartwarming things you can do.
Stop giving a fuck about what other people think: This has probably been my biggest learning this year. We worry too much about what others think of us but that's just a consequence of our insecurities that we need to overcome in order to take us closer to our goals. Huge shoutout to Gary Vaynerchuk for helping me realise this. If you know in your heart that you’re capable of something, go for it. Tune out the judgement and sharpen the focus.
Building relationships is more important than simply labelling them: Anyone can pick a person at random and label them as their spouse/best friend/connection. The important thing is to put effort into these relationships to maintain them. Meaningful relationships require hard work, clear communication and reciprocity.
Time is money: In the pre-pandemic world, we wasted way too much time on meetings which are now wrapped up in 28-minute Zoom calls. No matter how much we criticize not being able to meet physically, we must admit that the internet and platforms like Zoom have made things a lot more time-efficient. I love that we don't have to spend half a day travelling back and forth for meetings that aren’t that productive. We get 24 hours in a day, make every second count.
We are choosing the wrong idols: Are you feeling lost? Change who you’re listening to. If we’re constantly focusing on celebrity gossip or to someone who isn't relevant to the life we wish to create for ourselves, we’re (almost deliberately) distracting ourselves. We are the sum of what we focus on.
Perfection is bullshit: It took me a while to process what this means. The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that it is true. Perfection is a disguise for insecurity. It is a way to procrastinate creating something by jumping to a conclusion that it isn't good enough before even giving it a genuine shot. Hard pill to swallow, but true nonetheless.
Hug your friends: During quarantine, I realised how much I regretted not hugging my friends before the lockdown started and we couldn’t see each other for months. Apparently, hugging also has mental health benefits! Just hug the people you love. It’s underrated.
When you teach something, you get to learn it twice: If we learn with the intent of teaching it to someone else, we know that we have to present it to another person and thus we pay better attention to it in comparison to when we learn for ourselves. Also, when you actually teach something, you revisit it and make learning a lot more interactive.
We aren’t robots, it’s okay to feel: I used to look at vulnerability as a sign of weakness but I now think of it as a strength. Being vulnerable means that you're human, it shows that you are capable of feeling emotions and aren't afraid to show them. It is also a sign of honesty. Let yourself feel - the good, the bad, and everything in between. When we acknowledge our feelings, they stop holding us back.
Family first: I grew closer to my family this year because of the lockdown and I'm just really grateful for them. For months, they were the only people whom I was in physical contact with. Of course, this was annoying initially but as we gradually accepted that a pandemic was going on, we ended up spending a lot of "quality time" together. This made me really think about my priorities and the things that I took for granted earlier. When I say "family", I would also like to mention that you can include friends whom you have chosen to be your family. This is personal, and can differ from person to person but if anything, this year has taught me how nothing comes as close to important as the people that you love.
Fitness is fun: While fitness goals are something I'll be carrying forward into 2021, this year I learned that working out or taking long walks is actually really fun. These activities are super refreshing and important to cultivate longevity. Our bodies deserve to be taken care of, and fitness allows us to do that in a way that keeps our mind and souls satisfied as well!
Non-fiction books are great: Until this year, I had read only 2 non-fiction books. I started reading a lot about the areas that interest me and I've learned a lot about them this year. Reading non-fiction is definitely more complex and demanding in comparison to fiction but it broadens your perspective and upgrades your brain. I highly recommend it!
Don't be afraid to execute ideas: Good ideas are always crazy until they’re not. You might look like a fool when you’re starting out but that doesn’t matter - everyone looks like a fool when they’re doing something new. Set your mind to execute and don't stop until you’re proud of yourself.
Life is long, welcome failure: This year I realised that success is a pretty lousy teacher. Rejection from one place is redirection to another place. Once you’ve failed at something or been rejected, acknowledge where you went wrong and give it another shot. Fearing failure is a huge mistake because failure is what makes us more experienced. It’ all about perspective.
Nothing feels better than Accountability: Learning to be 100% accountable for all of my actions was liberating. When you decide to take the blame for all your mistakes as well as the credit for your wins, life just gets a whole lot better. You feel more deserving of everything that comes your way - the good and bad both. Accountability is truly humbling and has been the fuel for all my actions this year.
Keep things simple: If you miss somebody, call them. If you want to be understood, explain yourself. If you have questions, ask. If you like something, share it. If you don’t like something, speak up. If you love someone, tell them. We unnecessarily overcomplicate things in our lives. Simplicity is key.
That’s about it! Thank you for reading this and for subscribing to this email list. I appreciate you being here and I hope that you’re able to extract value from this. May 2021 be filled with great books and even better moments for us all. Happy new year and happy reading!
All the love,
Kashvi
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